Hello my loyal readers! I hope all is well. This past week has been very interesting and full of surpirses to say the least. The first of which was the beautiful bouquet of flowers sitting on my desk when I came into work Monday morning, from an anonymous source. If the sender is reading this I would like to say thank you for the unexpected, but welcome surprise. The second being the owl post I received from our wonderful and highly esteemed business men of the community, Messers Fred and George Weasley. Now Fred and George are the identical twin owners of the famous 3W joke shops and the notoriously famous gentlemen's club, the Whistling Weasel. There have been many rumours running rampant about this dynamic duo and I am here to squash any untrue stories and only bring my readers the truth!
Both gentlemen greet me and at once I am put at ease by their flirtacious joking. They both posses the Weasley red hair and glancing at them, they are exactly alike. It will take me part way through my interview, until I am able to tell subtle differences in these two bachelors!
Fred is the more adventurious one, chosing to meet life head on with a wicked sense of play. George on the other hand, while being a jokester, like his brother, takes a more calculated approach to life. Fred has more blue eyes and George's are closer to green. After a short indruction to all parties, the interview begins.
"One question I'm sure all readers are dying to know! Are you identical in everyway?" The two give my sly smirks and then grin to one another.
"Well my dear, we do have slightly different eye colours!" This is when I notice the slight variation.
"We are slightly different heights!" George answers this one, although it could have been Fred, by the way he is looking at me, completely unsurprised by what his brother has just said. It was almost as if he was thinking the exact same thing himself.
"We sometimes answer questions differently!" The tone of Fred's voice tells me he is teasing.
"We like different types of women, most of the time!" This answer causes me to file away the statement for later. It is becoming almost uncanny the way the brothers answer in tandem.
I hold up my hand and look them both in the eye! "You know what I mean! The readers want to know, if you were both to strip naked right now, would I see any differences?" I figured it was better to fight fire with fire!
Both raised their eyebrows and Fred made to stand up. He scooted to the edge of his chair.
"Well love, I really don't know if you would be able to make a good comparison, considering, one of us would be behind you and the other in front!"
I know this was said to rattle me, but I will not lose my concentration. My readers are expecting this story and I will deliver it to them.
"So you are saying that you have shared women before?" This statement seems to stun them for a moment and then I hear a rich belly laugh coming form the door way. Everyone turns to look and there is standing a very muscular red head.
"Charles, my dear boy!" Both twins get up to embrace the guest.
"How many times have I told you not to call me Charles!"
"It is your name isn't it?"
The new red head grabs hold of both men and proceeds to put them into a headlock and lead them back over to the interview area. As they come closer, the newer red head reaches out his hand, without losing his grip on my interviewees and I tenatively take it and am surprised at the gentleness of the hand.
"I hope I'm not ruining anything here! Were my brothers trying to chat you up. They are notorious for that. Always trying to get a poor witch to go out with them. It's really quite sad to see!" The last part was done in a mock whisper.
"No they weren't! I am infact doing an interview on them for all of my readers!"
"Oh, yeah, what's the name of your column and why would you want to interview my brothers?"
"It's called the Men of Yente!"
"You're Yente Malka?"
"Yes I am!"
"Wow, even I read your column, so does everyone else in the reserve! We are big fans!"
"Thank you!" I nervously glance at my watch, I have another appointment in 30 minutes.
"Hey, we are the ones being interviewed here! Why don't you go and bugger off." Fred chases his brother back out the door.
As he is leaving, Charlie shouts back to me, "I would love to do an interview with you sometime. You know I work with Dragons right?" This piece of news intrigues me and I tell him to owl me with a good time to do the intereview!
The twins settled themselves back down and I tried to finish the interview, but they were having non of it. Their brother had distrupted their concentration and I quickly learned that the two were easily distracted and distracting at the same time.
Fred was leaning back, eyeing me like I was tonight's dinner and George sat with his head in his hand, staring at me with an intensity I had never seen before.
"So gentlemen, you own one of the most successful chain of joke shops in all of the wizarding world, yet you decided to open a gentlemen's club! Why was that?"
"Well my dear,.."
"that is quite easy to answer."
"You see, not many men, have a woman as stunning and understanding as you, sitting at home,"
"so they come here!"
I am now dizzy from looking back and forth between the two and I have a feeling it's all part of their plan to disorient me. I watch as Fred inches closer to me in his chair and George gives me a smile, I am not to sure of.
The interview has ended, I will get nothing more out of them in the way of an interview today and I know I am going to be late for my next appointment, but you try getting two of the biggest joksters to care!
Maybe I will have better luck getting a proper interview out of their older brother.
Until next time!
Your Most Humble Gossip Queen
Yente Malka
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